I really don't like children. No I'm not being cute or gruff for your amusement. I do not like children. They are noisy and dirty. They can't carry on intelligent conversation. They spread germs and break things. Many of them can't walk or use the toilet appropriately.
Someone's first steps are only worth noting if they are the first steps after an airplane crash. I walked over to you to hear that stupid story. Now I will crap my pants and see how fucking adorable it is.
Math and science and enough language to read about math and science are the only things children need to learn. So, no I don't want to buy overpriced waxy chocolate so your kid can play sports. Tell his big dumb ass to get a job.
Children are fucking leeches. They suck at the government teat and provide nothing of value. I did see one who couldn't read the cross walk get hit by a car once. He had entertainment value.
So unless your kid is getting hit with something or chopped up in farm equipment or can do a trick at least as good as a dog or monkey, I don't want to hear about it.
Now your teenage daughter that is willing to travel to West Virginia with me, she might be okay.
